More Than Words: How Intentional Communication Builds Trust and Safety

Communication is easy to request and tough to deliver. Communication includes our words, the way we say them and nonverbal communication – the vehicle that carries a message from one party and delivers it to another party’s understanding. Today we have the most pathways for communicating – face to face, email, phone, text, voicemail, video conferencing, app platforms (such as Slack) and social media.

Ways we use communication include passing along information, sharing a point of view, presenting an idea, brainstorming, providing praise, creating accountability, giving feedback, and more. Communication includes not only the words we use and our body language; it’s also the intention behind those words, the experience behind the words (my past experiences), the history I have with you, and the mindset we each have behind those words at the time we say them.

Commentary from anyone can be heard anytime, anywhere. Because of the sheer volume, methods and cultural nuances, we have the highest level of risk of communication going awry.

As a leader, mastering the skill of communicating honestly, empathetically and decisively, provides an environment of trust, respect and safety. The following are eight key elements of communication that creates messages that are impactful, motivating, transparent and have the ability for creating momentum.

1) Heart-based messaging.

It’s vital especially during times of change that people actually experience your passion, conviction and care in any communication. Your caring touches something in me that ignites my care as well. As the great poet Maya Angelou said, “People may not remember exactly what you did, or what you said, but they will always remember how you made them feel.” Show who you are in your communication – your sincerity and spirit - in order for your message to ring true and for genuine communication to happen. Communicating a perspective and a point of view with passion and conviction, while tailoring your message to relate to the audience you are speaking with, while being unattached to the outcome, is the sweet spot.

2) Ensure one key takeaway.

When I was working in publicity, my boss Ellen Cooper would always talk about how you need to have one must-make point. This is helpful for any conversation, email, meeting, or any time that you are communicating. Think about the one point you want the other party to take away from it, and then think about how you can deliver that message in a simple and clear way that people will easily remember. The more you clutter up your messaging, the more challenging it will be for people to actually remember what you said. Make your message simple, clear, and memorable. Think and speak in headlines.

3) Listening and Curiosity.

Imagine if you could peel back the layers of a conversation midstream and see what someone is thinking in that moment. You might be surprised. Oftentimes we relate to a present conversation from our past experiences, judgments, and biases. This is normal, the question is do we recognize that pattern or do we speak and listen from our past? When you listen from a position of curiosity, you give yourself the opportunity to be truly open to listening in the present. This mindset leads you to ask curious questions that are open ended, and this in turn causes both parties to think and reflect, and generates more understanding between you.

4) Anchor yourself.

There are times when, as a leader, you have to support a decision that was made by others above you and that you yourself are not 100% in favor of. You know the company relies on you to be an advocate with your team, and you may have a hard time reconciling that with being genuine, because the decision that was made or the message that is being sent is not in fact what you feel is the ideal or best.—I’m not referring here to decisions that would call for you to do something unethical or completely against your values; rather, to a situation where perhaps you agree up to a point, and you would have preferred that it settled a bit differently or that the implementation was different. When you have the responsibility of conveying and promoting such a decision or message, seek out the elements or aspects of that decision or message that you can connect with, that resonate with you, that you can sincerely get on board with—and anchor yourself to those. Then, you can come before your team, move them in the direction that is expected of you, and do so from a genuine place.

5) Build positive relationships with others.

When you consistently invest in communicating with people and do so as transparently as possible, they come to trust that you will communicate both the good and the bad. They’ll trust that you’ll be candid and honest, and believe that when you can share, you will. And if you can’t, they will be less suspicious of your reasons. Whereas if they consistently feel you’re holding back on information, they will tend to come to their own conclusions—which may not resemble the reality of the situation. When you’re regularly investing positively, people will know you to be reliable. Then, when something goes awry, people will say, “Maybe she messed up here, and, I know her. It was a blip. I know I can trust her.”

6) Context is crucial.

Every message needs a clear “why” in order to resonate. Simon Sinek made this famous with his “Golden Circle” from his renowned TED talk.  The “why” is what moves people to action. The context, the why, is the glue that makes your message stick. It lands because it gets to the core of motivation. If I don’t communicate enough context, people are left wondering, “I still don’t get it. Why are we doing this? It doesn’t make sense to me. Someone’s leaving something out or not telling me/us the whole story.” Context is the container for the content. It guides and directs it.

7) Be consistent.

You want to convey a message that lasts in people’s minds. To do that, you have to be consistent in your messaging. I have a client during COVID-19 who sends out a global communication via email or video every Monday. Employees have come to expect and depend on that message for updates, information and even lightness and humor. When you are consistent, you facilitate people trusting and having confidence in you.

8) Share the 5 “W’s” and even the “H”.

Good old “who,” “what,” “when,” “where,” “why,” and “how” are essential ingredients to great messages. People want to know how something new is going to affect them. “Why are we changing? What would happen if we did nothing? How will the shift impact how we function as an organization and as people inside the organization? When will the change be implemented?”

Keep in mind that when you’re messaging to a group, you’re addressing people with many different personality and communication styles. Some individuals don’t need a lot of facts and data to back something up. One data point will move them. There are other people who are far more analytical, and they need a lot of data to be persuaded. When you include the why, what, how, when, etc., it assists with messaging to a variety of different personalities and value systems.

Remember that just because you are speaking words or putting them down in any form, it doesn’t mean you are actually communicating. Words facilitate a message and especially during times of change that message can be a powerful vehicle for sharing and instilling trust, respect and safety.