Working all the time doesn’t work: Keys to Successfully Integrating Work + Life

In my last article that spoke about what to remember and not forget – the opportunity to reinvent how we work and where we work. The keys to retention, engagement and happiness in the workplace lies in two critical areas and elements - boundaries and connection.

Boundaries are paramount to living a healthy life

When everyone went from office to home and home became the office, many clients of mine were simply working all the time. There was no space to allow the distinction between work and home. After all, in the good old days, maybe you would have a 20–30-minute commute where you could listen to music or a podcast, take a work call or simply unwind or wind up to take on the day.

Now it was all a big ol blur. Where you used to be able to walk from one meeting to another, now you just clicked on “leave meeting” and immediately clicked on “join meeting.” There was literally no space between one thing to the next. Many of my clients said everything felt the same, a monotonous sea of demands and requests from one Zoom/Teams/WebEx to another. Going to the bathroom was a luxury and forget about eating. Lunch was an afterthought. Leaders were emailing at all times of day and night because it all felt literally the same.

Many companies I know decided to give employees intentional space in the day or week – say no meeting Fridays or no meetings after 4pm – and that quickly went out the window. As a leader, when you give your word and then you repeatedly step over it you tell your people that your word means nothing. So, when you really need people to be with you, believe you and be on your page, it’s not possible. You stepped over your word hundreds of times in small ways and those in the end add up to massive ones.

I remember a client sharing that she was at a restaurant with her family on a Saturday and her boss called her. When she answered the phone, her boss wanted to know why she was whispering, she said it was because it was Saturday, she was out to brunch with her family, and she was physically changing her child’s diapers in the bathroom. Her boss said “ok” and then kept on talking.

Many clients of mine were tired of this insanity and started to put in meaningful boundaries in their workdays. They may seem small however they were really huge – no work after 7pm, family time from 8pm-8am, working for 1-2 hours on the weekend only, no looking at email until after 8am.

Burnout won’t be cured from going back to an office, we saw that before COVID, healthy boundaries can help this exponentially.

Let’s not lose having healthy boundaries when we go back to a physical office. It’s so crucial to have boundaries. Boundaries indicate to others what’s most important to us, they draw a line in the sand and keep unhealthy people or events away. They also could inspire to others to have the courage to implement boundaries – because it takes courage to be a stand for what is most important to you without apology. It’s an honoring simply of who you are and it’s to be respected and valued.

Connection can be made in any medium

Clients have told me throughout COVID that they can’t wait to return to an office because it’s not possible to profoundly connect with another through a screen. There is an inherent longing of being face to face, in the physical presence of another.

I will not deny that being in a room with another person, having a meal and being in physical contact with another person is a basic human need. I had not seen my mom for almost two years and when I hugged her for the first time my whole body melted. And yet, work for many is now hybrid. If you are going to wait until you are always physically near someone to intentionally create connection then you are missing out on moments where you can meet someone deeply where they are, to have someone listened to so profoundly and for you to have an unforgettable moment that can shift someone’s life and perspective.

Consider this, many are leading teams that are multinational. Out of necessity you have to communicate virtually and if those moments are not met with intentionality of meaning and connection then those are instances where everyone is missing out. Especially when you are leading teams and are responsible for the soul, care, development, and well-being of another, if you have the intention of genuine connection there is so much that can transform. I’ve witnessed people melt in tears from the opportunity to share vulnerably who they are virtually; teams whose sharing and council of each other brought them to feel that they were not alone; and the laughter emanating from one was so infectious that it transformed the mood of a whole group together from hopeless to hopeful.

It takes a different mindset and muscle to move from one modality to another such as in person to virtually and it does take more intentionality to create a connection. And when you do, it can be life changing for you both.

As we move back to a physical office let’s keep in mind what is most fundamental, the humanity of us all - the desire of connection and connectedness and the value we want for ourselves and each other. Keeping those intentions close and first and foremost will transform you and your team no matter the modality, physicality, and location. Your beingness is the critical element.